Mom Survival Tips For...

Survival Tips For A Seriously Long, HOT, Stressful Day

1. Head straight for your Keurig the moment you wake up and grab the biggest coffee cup you have.

2. Take two Excedrin. Because if you don't already have a headache, hold tight, it's coming.

3. Turn all the fans in the house on because even though it's only 8:15am...IT. IS. MISERABLY. HOT.

4. Post on FB a pity status stating how tired, unmotivated and cranky you are already simply to get a few supportive comments.

5. Turn that TV on!!!!! Then cross your fingers, toes and pray it keeps your little one(s) sitting still and alive while you shower. 

6. Set up a play date with good, close girl friends who will listen to you vent about life and don't care about your baggy, dark circles and flat hair.

7. DEFINITELY grab a second, very large cup of joe while you're out. Preferably a flavored frap. Yum.

8. Have GREAT convos about your kids, your men, your problems, your absolutely ridiculous lack of sleep & more with your girl friends. 

9. Pack lots of snacks for your interrupting, tantrum-throwing kid so you can keep having mom-to-mom convos.

10. Call your husband on the way home crying (with toddler crying in the back seat) saying how you're sorry you're crying but your son is crying and everyone and everything wants to make you cry right now. 

11. Plot out and scheme in ANY WAY POSSIBLE how to make your toddler nap. First remind your kid, the longer the nap the happier we'll all be. Trust me.

12. Step over the un-folded laundry and knocked-over sippy cups and head straight for your bedroom. Close the door. Shut the blinds. Turn off the lights. (Keep fan on). And grab that book! Or iPad. Or Bible. Whichever you're in the mood for. 

13. Pop two more Excedrin and down several glasses of water. Look, it's only 12pm. You've got a loooong way to go.

14. Eat a plate full of cheese puffs. Hmm hm.

15. Cry some more because of mom guilt from yelling like a mad women at your screaming son earlier. Just get it out. It helps and gives your face a nice, red glow.

16. Head to Hobby Lobby after nap time for a quick retail therapy trip :)

17. Crank up Zac Brown in the car and sing in your pretend hand microphone with your toddler. 

18. Text your husband that he is in charge of dinner tonight. Burgers please!

19. Bust open that awesome $10 bottle of wine from HEB and FILL UP YOUR GLASS.

*optional: repeat as often as needed

20. Pray long and hard with your son as you put him to bed that Mommy has a better day tomorrow and can go 24 hours without acting like an insane person.

--------------------------------------------------------

If you're wondering, NO, this post is not about me and did not describe my day. Ha! I'm a perfect mom and would never have a day like that.

Okay, I lied. That was all me. I'm crazy. 

Actually, WE ARE crazy.