ONE

Aren't his shoe-socks Nanny gave him superrr cool?

I have been so content lately. My responsibilities are increasing and there are plenty of things I could get worried about, but I'm just not. I'm focusing on the pleasures my life brings me. I think that comes with spiritual growth. This year God has helped us grow SO much and learn to lean on Him for every single thing. In church I recently heard our pastor say "God is more concerned with your spiritual growth than your comfort". I just love that! Some days when I'm really struggling physically or mentally, I think, God  really must be up to something with me today :)

Back to being content. For months I wondered when to have a second child. Orien turned 1 and it seemed like I should be thinking about #2. All of my mom friends seemed to have kids back to back. After your kid turns 1 people start asking "So when is the next one coming?" Huh? Excuse me? I'm still not getting sleep, I would think. My son just got off the bottle. He JUST started sleeping through the night. I am still not a pro at this. But all of those outside pressures somehow slowly warped my overly-exhausted and frayed mind into thinking it was time. It was time for baby 2, yes! I started noticing babies and their cute chubby faces more. I began dropping hints to my husband. After several weeks of discussing it, we decided to go for it. We tried for one month and I was sure I would get pregnant. After all, I'm young and it only took one try for our little O. Well...negative. All of them. But I oddly didn't feel sad. I felt more confused. 

Then. Life got hard. The walls were caving in from every direction. What happened, I thought! Life was so peaceful and I felt I was sooo ready for #2! Wrong wrong wrong. And God knew all along. I wasn't ready. He pushed me to my limit those few weeks after we tried to get pregnant. It was a wake-up call to me. Hello! You need to focus on YOU first. Now is not the time. Needless to say, we stopped trying fast. 

I am so thankful He intervened in such a dramatic way. I am ashamed to say I didn't even ask God much for guidance when wondering when to have a second child. Yet...He was there. He knew what was best for me. I can see now, months later, that it is VERY good that I'm not pregnant right now. I've had countless health problems this fall and my body wouldn't be able to handle a pregnancy.

I've come full circle this year. I am so so completely content with ONE. Having the time to focus on only Orien right now is truly a blessing. I know it will be different when we have another child. The bond of a first child and their mom is special. We get so much Mommy-and-Me time, which is priceless! Baby #2 is so far off in the distance in my mind and I love it that way. I'm not even convinced we will have another one and that is okay. We're taking it one day at a time and not letting one second pass us by without savoring it!

Ready for school...